Over or Under?

I am trying to be good and blog every day.

AND today is Random Wednesday.

AND, since I can't think of anything else, I will discuss the most random of topics: Toilet Paper.

1) I prefer over. I hate going into bathrooms and rolling the paper around for a bit too long trying to find the end only to realize it's an under roll. Messes up the flow.

2) I HATE Charmin. That stuff is like wiping with extra fluffy dust. It poofs everywhere. How is that pleasant?

3) I also HATE Scott Tissue. One-ply? Really? Who the heck knowingly purchases one-ply? Yes, the rolls are mega-quadruple size, but you use about 3 times as much per tear to equal the much better two-ply. And it's like Charmin took all the fluffy from Scott and left the unpleasant sandpaper behind.

4) My children use way too much toilet paper. No joke - we go through at least 6-8 rolls A WEEK. It's insane. If you do not have children, and plan on it, remember to budget 14 times as much in your Walmart run each week for toilet paper.

And, those are my random thoughts for today. Thank you for listening, and have a great night.

the FCB

All women have one. ALL of them. I don't care who you are.

Little girls have them, too, but different ones.

What are they?

Fake Celebrity Boyfriends.

What is a Fake Celebrity Boyfriend? Exactly what it sounds like. Some famous person or character on a show or something similar that you think is absolutely the most gorgeous person ever, and you dream that you meet him and he totally thinks you're the best thing ever.

Let's clarify something - having a FCB and being stalker like are completely different.

You don't want to know all about the FCB. It will ruin the dream. You don't really care so much where he lives, and you have no desire to know if he's dating or married or gay. You know his name, and how hot he is, and the rest is mostly made up to fit your fantasy. You know you have a 99.99% chance that you will NOT ever meet him. If you think that you and your FCB have a "deep connection" and that you are or will be married, or anything like that, you are a stalker and need help.

I will admit that my current FCB is Alex O'Loughlin. He's dreamy. I know nothing about him. I refuse to check out his IMDB profile. The perfect FCB. My mom is all about Tom Selleck from the Magnum P.I. days. I believe my sister's #1 is Matt Bomer from White Collar. My aunt is predictable with Brad Pitt.

Who's your FCB?

Ranch is a Food Group

Went to lunch with my friend today. I haven't seen her in a while. She is one of those extra-gorgeous and uber-talented people who are also so sweet. It's kind of wrong, really, that one person should have all that.

We got chips and salsa today. And ranch. For the chips. Well, she got ranch. I just looked at her strangely. I know she's not the only one, but ranch on chips? With salsa? I don't understand.

I used to have a friend that put potato chips on her sandwiches. ON them. Nope, don't get that either.

Maybe I'm to boring with my food.

What strange food habits do you have?

Aliens Would Whoop Us

(Random Wednesdays have begun. I will give my thoughts on the most random topics I or a friend can think of. Suggestions welcome!)

It's Christmas-time. I love this time of year. People act nicer and there is pie. And other stuff. But there's one thing I can't seem to wrap my head around at the holidays.

The Christmas Sweater.

Really. Have you ever actually seen an attractive Christmas Sweater? If there really is intelligent life out there that wanted to take us down like War of the Worlds (not the Tom Cruise version) or Independence Day (before Will Smith whoops them), between Christmas Sweaters and the Antiques Roadshow camera lurkers, do you really think they would see us as a formidable opponent?

They are bulky and always some crazy red color, and they look like a first grader tried to knit it in the back of the Batman ride at Sea World. Hot glue some flannel graph-esque reindeer and Christmas trees on awkward places, and you've got fashion at it's finest!

I have been lucky enough to have avoided the Christmas Sweater Hall of Shame (or I've completely blocked it out of my memory). Have you?