Why?

I have to admit that I ask that question a lot.

Why?

And, I have to admit that I ask that question of God a lot.

Why?

I've really struggled with it lately. For some reason the last few days have been exceptionally hard for me. I wonder WHY things happen.

WHY do some choices seem to haunt you forever? Doesn't there come a time when you've paid your penance?

WHY do some things happen that raise and then dash your hopes? Again? Hasn't it been painful enough?

WHY is it so hard to stay hopeful? WHY does it feel as if He is ignoring you? WHY can't the years of struggle and pain end? WHY is the "little while" of suffering stretch on and on and on?

And WHY is my faith so fickle? Is it because I've been hoping for so long, and as the years drag by and the prayers haven't been answered and the hopes haven't been fulfilled and the dreams are fading?

WHY?

There is a song by Barlow Girl that I still love. I sing it to myself quite a bit - especially when I feel abandoned. I just hope and pray and try to have faith that He'll show Himself soon.

I waited for You today
But You didn't show
No no no
I needed You today
So where did You go?
You told me to call
Said You'd be there
And though I haven't seen You
Are You still there?

I cried out with no reply
And I can't feel You by my side
So I'll hold tight to what I know
You're here and I"m never alone

And though I cannot see You
And I can't explain why
Such a deep, deep reassurance
You've placed in my life

We cannot separate
You're part of me
And though You're invisible
I'll trust the unseen