A Follow Up Rant

A few days ago, I wrote about the Facebook status of one of my friends. Read it HERE. (Really – this will make more sense if you do.)

What followed was a little shocking to me. There was a lot of response, but that’s to be expected. It was the type of responses that shocked me. Except for maybe two people (me being one of them), all of the responses were completely UNsupportive of my friend, and military wives/families in general!

It ticked me off a little bit. I refrained from commenting more just because I didn’t want my friends Facebook to become a hostile debate zone. But I’ve been thinking a lot about the response, and I’ve come to some [sad] conclusions.

First, I would like to remind everyone that WE ARE IN A WAR. No, this posting is not to talk about my feelings or your feelings or debate the war. But I mention that because no one seems to remember this fact. Although it’s taking place on another continent, and although the people we are [mostly] fighting for are not on American soil, we are still AT WAR.

Do me a favor and read that underlined part again. Does it sound familiar? If it doesn’t, obviously education doesn’t teach anyone anymore, so go Google “World War II”. Specifically the European Theatre. Or World War I, all of it. (My grandfather fought in WWII, was MIA, then POW – captured by the Germans. I’ll tell that story one day.)

Up until just the last few decades, whenever a country was at war, the citizens knew it. Both World Wars saw the taxes rise and the people SACRIFICE for the military and the war effort. (I made sacrifice big because I want you to pay attention to that word. It’s important for this post.) Everything that could be spared was funneled towards the troops. Food and goods were rationed. Everyone contributed what they could – time, talents – for the war effort. The country knew we were at war.

Let’s look at now. The fact is that a lot of people don’t even think about what’s going on in Afghanistan and Iraq. And if they do, they don’t think of it as a war. They think of it politically, and they all have their opinions, and a lot of outspoken people do stupid stuff that can get OUR MEN and WOMEN killed. (That is also a post for another day.)

Therefore, sacrifice is a foreign word. The people of this country have become spoiled and entitled. They don’t want to have to give up anything for anyone else. (I’ve been guilty of this thinking, too, so unbunch your panties.) So, when my friend states that she finds it hard to not give a rude retort to someone who “knows exactly what you’re going through cuz my husband had to go to London for three days last month,” of course people will rise up against her. Which, of course, makes me mad.

The responses ranged from, “it’s not fair that you say that because she misses her husband, too,” to “well, you knew what you were signing up for so you really can’t complain.”

First, no one said they don’t miss their husbands when they go to London. But, seriously? You want to compare a three-day trip to a London hotel to a 7-18+ month trip to a war zone in a hell hole in Iraq? Really? And then to have the audacity to tell the military wife they can’t complain because they knew what they were getting in for?

Who signs up to send their husband OFF TO WAR? And just because they learn to adjust doesn’t mean they’re totally cool with the fact that their husband may come back in a pine box.

Then I thought that civilian wives oftentimes have this reaction (not all of them – I know lots of civilian wives whose husbands travel a lot and they would NEVER say these things) because they have no clue what true sacrifice is.

The men and women of the military risk their lives for this country, and for people they’ve never met, and to save innocent people in other countries (which consequently helps to protect this country). And the families that stand behind them and stay behind when they leave sacrifice everything – sometimes the very life of the one they love.

I used to be a military wife, and not even I had to go through what so many of my friends are going through now. Think about it for half a second and you might, just might, realize that you have it easy.