Today I had to make some decisions, and not the fun kind, like which dress to wear or restaurant to go to. And considering I can never decide where to eat, hard decisions are torturous.
As I wrote about earlier (here if you missed it), I'm losing my GI Bill, which is just over half of my income, which is not good. I hoped to have it extended, but no go. So, I had to decide what to do.
Full-time school just wasn't going to work anymore, because I need to work more now. I have to drop two of my classes. It's only two of the four because the other two I can do online. Time is freed up, so now to look for extra income. I may have to go back to working two jobs.
Honestly, that makes me cry. I've worked two jobs before, and it sucks all of my energy and time, meaning less - if any - time with my kids. They may drive me crazy, but I need to spend time with them. I need their hugs and madness to keep me going.
The new year usually brings stuff like this, and now you know why I don't place much hope in the changing of a number. The new normal I wanted? I wanted a BETTER normal.
I am feeling quite manic indeed today.
I'm sorry to hear this Lorianne. I will certainly keep you in prayer and ask God to do immeasurably more than you may expect of him. For increased faith and energy. For a job that will be fun and interesting so that you won't have to dread going to work. For Sundays off so you can get refreshed for the week ahead. For extra time with your precious kids and family. For a sound mind and less mania. It's but a small thing for God to do all of this and more. Love you!...jenn:*)
ReplyDeleteOur definition of "normal" would translate to boring, second-best, unfulfilling, missing out on God's Plan A :)
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